My first NA convention

The Tenth Peruvian Regional Convention of Narcotics Anonymous, held in Arequipa from 14 May through 16 May 2004, was my first convention. When I arrived to the bus station on Thursday morning, the atmosphere was very lively and festive. About forty of us traveled on a bus chartered by our local NA community. My fellow member, Ana, from Trujillo, which is 500 kilometers to the north, became my first friend on the trip. We shared during the journey, which lasted nineteen hours and covered 1,000 kilometers. It was enjoyable and novel, as our experiences contrasted. She was an oldtimer in recovery, and I am still a tender newcomer in spite of being fifty-four years old. I was probably twenty years older than her.

Beto, the chairperson of the convention committee, traveled with us. He asked all of us to write on a piece of paper what we wanted and expected from the convention. I wrote that I wanted to receive gifts for my recovery, and that I wanted the convention theme, “United for Our Common Welfare,” to become a reality.

We arrived in Arequipa on Friday at around 4:00 pm. We checked in at the convent where we were to stay for the next three days. It was a peaceful place with all the necessary comforts and a beautiful view of the city next to the Misti volcano. That evening, the convention started, and the different NA communities in attendance were introduced. We had dinner and listened to two speakers, and then ended the night with two recovery meetings.

On Saturday, members continued registering, and several meetings were held on topics like hospitals and institutions, powerlessness and unmanageable behavior, God as we understand him, defects of character and acceptance, willingness to change, and (of course) “united for our common welfare,” the convention theme. Afterward, clean time and recovery chips were handed out. I gave a two-month chip to Ramon, who granted me the honor to do so, and it coincided with my seventeen-month clean day. Different items were auctioned, even the convention banner, which was purchased by a native from Arequipa who now lives with her husband in Mexico. She took with her this unforgettable souvenir, signed by the majority of the attendees.

I collected over forty commentaries from different convention participants, with words that are so wonderful that this is an invaluable document. It is a treasure that refreshes memories and helps me relive those moments and encounters I had with the very precious people I met there. It was truly an unbelievable experience!

Sunday morning, we were nearing the closing of the convention, and you could perceive the melancholy amongst the members. In the morning, there were simultaneous meetings. The last speaker was one of the founders of NA in Peru, who shared about spiritual awakening, prayer, and meditation. He and other members started NA in Peru eighteen years ago. The Peruvian NA community sold literature and souvenirs during the whole event, and on the final morning, other regions sold merchandise.

Finally, on the bus trip back home, Beto asked us to briefly explain what we all got from the convention. I wrote that I had been given new friends—more than I had ever thought possible. I now had better friendships with home group members and with people from other groups in my native city of Lima. I had new friends from other groups in the region and from other countries. We exchanged email addresses so we could stay in touch.

I also wrote that I decided doing service in a more active and organized manner will help me in my recovery. I believe that practicing the NA program for my recovery and spiritual growth means that without NA, there are no steps. Without the steps, there is no recovery. Without recovery, there is no service. And without service, there is no NA.

All these gifts exceeded my expectations, and they made me so happy that I am already thinking about attending the Regional Assembly and next year’s convention. I am also thinking about my service work in my home group and my area. Thank you, Higher Power, for everything you have given me!

Arturo V, Lima, Peru

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Keep coming back

There is a very good reason that you hear “keep coming back” over and over, every time you go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. For one, most of us have to keep coming back for a very long time before we are able to hear the message. The message is hope, and the only promise is freedom, freedom from active addiction.

In the very beginning, it all sounds real crazy, or it did to me. It took a long time for me to figure out that I was just trying to complicate it. The reason I kept hearing “keep coming back” is because there is no way to understand the disease of addiction in a whole lifetime, but if I come to meetings long enough, I become open-minded enough to hear what you have been saying to me since the first time I walked through the door.

Having faith isn’t an easy thing to do, either. I’m not sure why. I always had faith in the dope man, or the doctor, or whomever I trusted to bring my dope back to me when I sent him off with my money. I think, now, that I was not trustworthy, so I was afraid to trust others. Now I know that the small amount of trust and faith I put into you was well worth it.

“Keep coming back” is one of my favorite sayings. It let me know I had someone to turn to, even if I didn’t want to. When I didn’t understand what I was going through, you did, and you loved me through it.

It takes a long time to realize why you’d even want to do something different with your life, but if you just have a little faith, and if you keep coming back, you’ll begin to understand for yourself. But the first thing you have to do is to not use, and “Keep Coming Back!”

Carol Y, Alabama, USA

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Hitting my knees

I want to share an experience of mine that I thought might help someone else, because it’s really helped me with the ego-and-pride issue, and that’s been a stumbling block for me.

My sponsor is big on hitting your knees, but for my first thirty days clean, I fought that hard. I would pray in every position but that one. I had to stop and ask myself, “What is the problem? It seems like such a small thing; why can’t I do it?”

Well, the first time I tried it, I hit my knee so hard on the bed railing that I literally couldn’t hit my knees! Don’t you know, I used that as an excuse for another week not to do it?

Eventually, God helped me realize that the reason I wouldn’t hit my knees was my ego and pride. That simple act meant bowing down to a higher power and relinquishing control to someone else: God. And believe me, that’s a lot easier than giving it to any one person, because my ego tells me that if I can’t have it, you aren’t getting it.

For me, it works because I get up with the same head full of the same thoughts every day, and hitting my knees starts the day with a little less ego and pride and a little more humility, of which I am definitely in need. I know that three months ago it was a lot worse, so there is progress—but never as much as I like to think, and certainly never as much as I want. But just the fact that I’ve seen progress at all is a huge accomplishment for me, and I’ve learned in this program that I can live with that, just for today.

I’ll never be completely free of my ego and pride or any of my other character defects, because if I were I would be perfect, which means I would be cured—and I’ll never be cured. But my disease is in remission. I will wake up one day and, instead of me feeling “less than,” my character defects will be “less than.” And that’s faith to me: the assurance of things hoped for but not seen.

Deborah D, Pennsylvania, USA

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I think of the times when I brought my burdens and problems to a meeting because they were too big to carry, even with the help of my sponsor and my support group. It has turned out, then, that the larger number who helped carry these burdens made them bearable and the problems solvable. In order to help achieve balance, I keep alert to the good and growing parts of recovery that come to me.

Well, about four weeks ago, with just over eight months clean, I picked up my paycheck at the construction site, went to the bank to cash it, and went across the street to a supermarket and bought groceries. From there, I went home, had supper, and went to a meeting. After the meeting, I stopped in at another supermarket to pick up a few things that the first one was out of.

Suddenly, I was struck by the realization that, here it was, between 9:00 and 10:00 pm on a payday Friday, and I’d done nothing but positive things without a single thought of using—not because I was “supposed to,” but because it seemed to be the most natural thing to do.

Sure, I have cravings now and then and resort to my “just for today” thoughts to get through them—but not that evening. So, I went home in a joyous state after convincing myself that it wouldn’t be a good idea to jump on the check-out counter and shout out my joy to everyone.

The next morning, however, I went to a 9:00 am meeting and told the story—with a lot of arm waving and joyous abandon.

Peter W, British Columbia, Canada

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Recovery in action

In the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous, we experience recovery in action. This action is that of our members—whether they are young in recovery or have the rewards of staying clean for various amounts of time—sharing their experience, hope, and faith with others at the meetings. Although some of the people in attendance do not hear the whole message, some pick up just enough to carry them through that day and, I hope, on to another meeting. I reflect back on myself in early recovery, when I was not truly able to understand all that was being shared, but I heard a word here and there that allowed me to stay clean, just for one more day.

Another action in recovery we can experience is being responsible. When we are new, we can become responsible by reading at the beginning of the meeting. If we are too shy for that, we can help after the meeting closes by helping put away the chairs. As we progress in cleantime, and as the fear of reading goes away, then we can read. No one will laugh if we find some of the words hard to pronounce. They will only show empathy. Action can be taken with the willingness to make coffee, or help set up chairs and tables for the meeting, or help put out the literature.

Think of a person visiting from another area. How do they feel when they walk into a meeting place where they don’t know anyone? Yes, we can make a big difference with small actions.

As we progress in our recovery, we can become responsible to our group by going to area service committee meetings and carrying information back to our group. Most groups have a group service representative, and these GSRs usually welcome other group members who want to accompany them to area meetings. This is a great learning tool for a future service position within our group or elsewhere in the service structure.

To answer the question “What can I do?” our first goal is to stay clean, but it seems to elude some of us that our simple sharing can be helpful to others who may be struggling.

Larry F, Ontario, Canada

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